Tag Archives: homophobia

Blogging, D.B. Jackson, David B. Coe

Monday Musings: Thoughts After Visiting My Kid

Last week, I flew out to Colorado to visit, Erin. Now, it goes without saying that I will leap at any chance to have time with my Peanut. I don’t need excuses to visit. But in this case, we had a bit of an agenda. Erin was in need of a car, and I went out to help her with the purchase.

Yes, she is 25 years old and could have done all of it on her own. But here’s the thing. Statistics show that women, on average, pay more for cars — new and used — than do men. In fact, White men pay the least of all. Women and all people of color will, on average, pay more for the same car, in the same regions, and even at the same dealerships. This is not an imagined form of discrimination. This is real and documented and supported by data.

So, out to Denver I went. We found her a car at a decent price. She’s happy, and I had time with my darling girl.

Erin in her new car!
Erin in her new car!

But . . .

The other night, I finally saw On The Basis of Sex, the Ruth Bader Ginsberg biopic that came out in 2018. The movie is, of course, a Hollywood take on an extraordinary historical figure, and so is bound to suffer from some flaws. But it offers an unstinting look at the barriers placed before RBG, who was always the smartest person in whatever room she entered, and always the best lawyer in any courtroom she graced. In this way, it reminded me of 42, the Jackie Robinson biopic starring the late Chadwick Boseman, and Hidden Figures, which told the stories of Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughn, and Mary Jackson, Black NASA mathematicians whose revolutionary work helped make possible the American space program.

In all of these movies (and countless other similar films that I have failed to mention) we are reminded of the irrefutable truth that sexism and racism (as well as homophobia, religious bigotry, and discrimination against people with disabilities) create nearly insurmountable barriers to success for too many.

And this is the insidiousness of the current Administration’s hysterical and irrational assault on DEI programs across the country. The assumption underlying this “policy” is that white, cis, straight males are the standard that define what it means to be qualified and competent. This is, of course, utterly ridiculous, and to see how foolish it is, take a moment to read any online biography of General Charles Q. Brown, the former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff fired by the present occupant of the White House for no other reason than because he happens to be Black. For that matter, take a moment to read a biography of Admiral Linda Fagan, the first female commandant of the Coast Guard, or Admiral Lisa Franchetti, the first woman to serve as Chief of Naval Operations and thus the first female member of the Joint Chiefs. Both were fired, apparently, because they’re woman and, like Brown, were seen by the Administration as “DEI hires.”

As if the Administration itself isn’t filled with (and led by) hires that are based entirely on race and gender! Does anyone honestly think that Pete Hegseth would be Secretary of ANYTHING if he weren’t a straight White guy? Does anyone think that Donald Trump would be anything more than a two-bit grifter if he hadn’t been born White, male, and rich-as-fuck?

When I was in graduate school, my (white male) advisor told me the story of how he came to be hired as a history professor at Stanford. He happened to be in the office of his (white male) advisor when the (white male) chair of the history department at Stanford phoned the aforementioned advisor, who was an old pal from Yale. The history department chairman said, “We have an opening here for an American history professor. Do you have any grad students who are on the verge of finishing their dissertations?”

“Actually, I have one sitting right here, and he’d be perfect.” At that point, my advisor’s advisor turned the conversation over to my future advisor who was “interviewed” and hired on the spot.

They call it an Old Boys Network for a reason, and such advancement has long been available to White men across academia, as well as throughout the business world, the legal and medical professions, politics, and in pretty much every other professional realm imaginable. Was my advisor qualified for the job? Absolutely. Was he more qualified than anyone else — of any race, gender, or group — who might have sought the job at Stanford had it been advertised and thrown open to all properly credentialed applicants? Who knows?

DEI is not intended to give an unfair advantage to underrepresented groups. Rather it is intended as a corrective for a culture, society, and economic system that have been tilted in favor of White men literally for centuries.

And yes, I count myself among those who have benefited from that uneven playing field. Absolutely I do! I was born White, male, upper-middle class. I’m straight. I was given every opportunity to succeed — I grew up in a nice house, in a good school system, raised by parents who fed me well, kept me safe, and took an active role in my education. I was taught from an early age that being smart, and being perceived as smart, are good things. I never faced any social pressure to hide my intelligence in order to be deemed “more attractive,” as so many girls my age were. I never feared the police. I never was called by the “N” word, as my best friend was, in my presence, when we were twelve. When the time came, I was in an economic position that allowed me to attend an Ivy League university. What an advantage all of that was! My privilege set me up for success. I know this. And I deal with it the only way I know how: by being an ally to those who didn’t have my privilege, and by fighting (and voting) for social justice and economic equality at every opportunity. Yes, I’m Woke. You’re damn right I am.

The current Administration is attempting to reverse more than half a century of progress on women’s rights, Civil Rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and antipoverty efforts. Why? Because they see anything that further levels the playing field as being to their personal disadvantage. Many of their supporters feel the same way. They would rather perpetuate a system filled with bias, one that rewards mediocrity by limiting competition from qualified women, qualified people of color, qualified people with disabilities, qualified people who identify as queer. They are terrified by the surety that if forced to compete with a wider group of skilled, talented people, they are likely to lose out. And they’re probably right. But that doesn’t change the fact that they are pursuing an ideological agenda that is immoral, cruel, and bad for our country.

Wishing you a good week.

Blogging, D.B. Jackson, David B. Coe, Writing

Professional Wednesday: What Matters Professionally? Part III — Appearances

Continuing my series of posts about “what matters” in the realm of professional publishing, I thought I would focus today on what matters during our public appearances. Attending conventions and writers’ conferences and workshops is an important part of being a professional. At a time when it’s tougher than ever to sell books, there is no substitute for interacting with fans and hand-selling our novels and stories. For better or worse, once we’re published and we start to gain a readership, we become public figures, and that can be a tricky role at first.

Some of the things that matter are really common sense. Others are a bit less intuitive. Let’s walk through a few of them.

The most important thing we can do as professionals is comport ourselves with dignity, with courtesy, and with sensitivity. Let me illustrate what I mean with a counter-example. Last year, on the final day of one of the conventions I attended, I sat on a panel with a group of fellow writers. Our panel moderator walked in late, and then, as they sat down, proceeded to tell an ugly, homophobic joke. I kid you not. It was like this asshole had been transported from the 1980s — their joke was so out of line, so contrary to the spirit of the convention and our genre, I could hardly believe it. Sadly, a few people in the audience laughed. Most of us — audience and panelists alike — offered no response at all; the atmosphere in the room was heavy and awkward for the next hour.

Now, it goes without saying that none of us should do what this person did. But they also shouldn’t do what I did, which was to sit there, so shocked by the inappropriateness of the moderator’s behavior, that I didn’t speak up and tell the person off. I should have. I feel terrible that I didn’t. If even one person in the room was personally offended — or worse, made to feel less than they are — then I failed them, as did my fellow panelists. (I did report the person to the convention, and hopefully this person will comport themselves differently going forward.)

What matters more than anything as a professional at a convention or other event, I would argue, is doing what we can to create a safe, healthy, informative environment for attendees and for our fellow professionals. We do that by being open to questions from and conversations with fans. We do that by bringing our best to each panel or discussion in which we participate — being engaged and energetic, speaking to the subject, sharing our enthusiasm and passion. We do that by being respectful of our audiences in all their diversity and individuality. Guys, we do that by being respectful of those with whom we interact, by not speaking over people, by not dominating discussions — in short, by not being total guys. If you take away nothing else from this post, keep these things in mind.

Some people who attend cons as professionals dress in a certain way. I know some pros who love to cosplay and they bring elaborate costumes to every event. I know other pros who wear nice jeans or even dress pants, and neat shirts. I know a very few pros who dress office casual. And I know pros who wear jeans and T-shirts. Honestly, this is a “doesn’t matter” thing to me. The answer to “how should I dress?” really ought to be, “however you’re most comfortable.” I tend to wear nice jeans and a plain t-shirt or button down. I don’t dress up, but I also don’t want to look like I don’t care. That’s what works for me. But as I say, in my view, there is no right or wrong here.

When I attend conventions, I arrive on time to my panels and readings and such, and I go to any sort of convention-wide event that the convention indicates to me they want me to attend. Some conventions don’t care if pros attend the opening ceremony, for instance. Some care a great deal. I make certain I know which is which for each convention. I make myself available in between panels, and, if it seems appropriate, will put in appearances in the con suite or other such venue. As I pro, I am there on someone else’s dime, and I am aware at all times that the attending fans have paid to be there, have, in effect, paid to see me and to have me there.

But I also know that I can’t over-extend myself. Attending a convention as a pro means being “on” during our public time, and that takes energy. We need to take care of ourselves by retreating to our rooms now and then, by allowing ourselves to unwind with professional friends for meals or coffees or beers. And we must also be able to say, politely but firmly, “I would love to chat with you — let’s set up a time — but right now I am having a private conversation with X.” Conventions are work. I love them, but they are work. They are also opportunities to connect with our professional colleagues, to network with them, and to talk shop. Those things matter as much as our public responsibilities, and we have to allow ourselves to take advantage of those opportunities.

In short, when I attend events in my professional capacity, I do what I can to be a good person, to be available, but also to take care of myself by carving out down-time and time with the people I care about and want or need to see.

I hope that’s helpful as you attend your professional events.

Keep writing!